Mismatched Sexual Desire
Do you want to feel intimately connected with your partner but feel that something is blocking the sexual intimacy?
Are you and your partner not on the same page when it comes to intimacy and sexual desire?
Do you want to feel closeness and connection with your partner but just not interested in pursuing sex anymore?
Does it feel like your partner and you have different high and low sex drives that do not match up?
Has your sexual intimacy with your partner become boring, vanilla sex, dull, and humdrum?
Are you feeling that your partner is not attracted and interested in having sex with you anymore?
Couples’ sexual desire mismatch is a common discrepancy occurrence within the dynamic of couples and experienced due to various reasons in most long-term relationships. Couples therapy can guide couples in establishing a solid foundation in their relationship and provide support with challenges that block intimacy, including communication, boundaries, parenting, and rebuilding trust issues due to past betrayals and hurts.
Mismatched desires where one partner experiences low desire caused by several factors, including biological, physical, and psychological influences affecting sexual functioning, resulting in decreased sexual connection and intimacy.
Mismatched Sexual Desire Factors
Medical Conditions
Cancer
Diabetes
Arthritis
Chronic pain and fatigue
High Blood Pressure
Coronary Heart Disease
Neurological Issues
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)
Significant Life Events
Pregnancy, birth & breastfeeding
Parenthood transition
Menopause
Grief and loss
Sexual trauma (abuse, rape, incest)
Work and life imbalance
New professional career
Religious beliefs
Psychological or physical disability
Relationship Factors
Relationship conflict
Toxic communication
Criticism or contempt
Defensiveness,
Stonewalling
Lack of emotional connection
Affairs and Infidelity
Low sexual satisfaction
Broken Trust
Medical & Psychological Factors
Mental Health Issues
Anxiety, Depression, Low-Self Esteem
Psychiatric medications (antidepressants)
Alcohol & Substance Use
Hormone changes
Painful Intercourse
Erectile dysfunction
Delayed Ejaculation
How Can Couples Therapy Help?
Couples therapy can focus on the core root of relationship problems and negatively impacting your emotional and psychological connection. Additionally, sex therapy guides couples in focusing on meeting their specific sexual desires and restoring the spark of physical intimacy and passion into the relationship for balance, harmony, and satisfaction.
References
Fischer, N., Štulhofer, A., Hald, G.M., Carvalheira, A., Træen, B.. (2021). Sexual
Satisfaction in Older Heterosexual Couples From Four European Countries: Exploring the Roles of Actual and Perceived Discrepancy in Sexual Interest. J Sex Res. Jan;58(1):64-73. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2020.1809615. Epub 2020 Aug 27. PMID: 32852228.
Mismatched sexual desire (2006). Navigating through the differences. Mayo Clin Womens Healthsource. Jan;10(1):9. PMID: 16404327.
Rosen, N., Bailey, K., Muise, A. (2018). Degree and Direction of Sexual Desire Discrepancy are Linked to Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction in Couples Transitioning to Parenthood. (2018). J Sex Res. Feb;55(2):214-225. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2017.1321732. Epub May 19. PMID: 28524698.
