Love Addiction for Women

Are you a love addict? 

Love addicts tend to be involved in exciting, short, intense and passionate relationships. The causes often a result of childhood abuse and trauma and insecure attachments with caregivers. Low self-esteem leads to search for reassurance from others through compulsive sexual intimacy attempts to fill a painful void.

A woman who is addicted to the feeling of being in love may continue to stay involved in an abusive and unhappy relationship. You may use a romantic relationship to help you cope with life’s problems that may become overwhelming. You may experience separation anxiety and codependency when you are apart from your lover or partner.

It is common to become obsessively attached to your partner and not let go of an unfulfilling relationship. Being able to establish healthy boundaries is challenging, and often the lines are blurred in the relationship. Love and sexual addiction for women encompasses a range of connection and intimacy challenges that impairs your ability to function in a healthy relationship. The core root cause may be connected to a history of emotional, physical, and sexual trauma and past unfulfilling relationships. There is hope for healing, recovery, and establishing a connection, intimacy, and meaningful relationships.

Love Addiction

Human beings are wired for connection and love; from Shakespeare’s literature and musical plays to Hollywood films, love has existed among humans for thousands of years and has consisted of music lyrics, romantic literature, troubadours’ musicians, love songs, and theater plays. Love provides a sense of meaning to our existence, and without it, you may feel the sting of loneliness.

Love and sexual obsession may involve wanting to always be in love and strongly pursuing romantic relationships despite the negative impact on your well-being. Codependency may lead you to stay in an unhealthy relationship because you are afraid of being on your own. The craving to feel loved by another and express your love may lead you to extraordinary attempts to please your lover, causing a loss of identity and balance over-managing one’s life.

Love addiction originates from an attachment style condition in which you may become reliant on the attention of a romantic partner to the detriment of your career and negatively impact other areas of your life. It is common to experience anxiety, depression, low self-worth, and low self-esteem, believing that you can only be worthy if you are in a relationship.

Characteristics of Love Addiction

·     Feeling that you cannot be alone. You must be in a relationship

·     Falling head over heels in love with a partner without taking the time to get to know their core values and who they are as a person

·     Being involved in serial relationships one after the other

·     Codependency and obsession around your partner and relationship

·     Not leaving a relationship where you are emotionally, verbally, or physically mistreated because being in a relationship is better than not

·     Break-Ups are emotionally challenging and devastating

·     Neglecting your wants, desires, and needs only to please your partner

·     Unable to maintain a work-life balance and failing in other areas

·     Being envious, jealous, and insecure when your partner spends time with family and friends

Signs of Love Addiction

Requiring to be in love to find happiness

Idealizing and romanticizing the partner overlooking red flags

Challenging relationships experiencing the same pattern

Distorted attitudes, beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors about love

Compulsive obsessiveness regarding love and partner

Passions, desires, excitement, and codependency on partner

Craving to fall in love multiple times and not feeling satisfied

Often there is unrequited love from the partner

Unable to tolerate being alone

Relationships often collapse, and the cycle repeats again

Symptoms of Love Addiction

Does not recognize the difference between true love and an obsession, codependency, and enmeshment with the partner

Lack of boundaries in establishing a healthy relationship

Diving right into a relationship quickly before really getting to know partner

Abandonment and rejection fears of not being able to be alone

Tolerates emotional, verbal, and physical abuse to stay in a relationship

Obsession with relationship partner at the cost of career and well-being

Often the partner is avoidant, emotionally unavailable, disconnected, detached, and possibly in a marriage or a committed relationship

Break-ups cause immense emotional pain and suffering

Risk Factors of Love Addiction 

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)

Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA)

Childhood emotional, physical abuse, and neglect

Mental health issues including anxiety and depression

Lack of care, nurture, and love as a child

Anxious and Insecure attachment style

Abandonment and codependency

Low self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence

Sex Addiction

A compulsive sexual activity negatively influences areas of your life, creating havoc and interfering with interpersonal relationships. Even though you may have good intentions and would like to stop – you may find yourself unable to do so, causing guilt and shameful feelings.

Signs & Symptoms 

·     Compulsive sexual activities and stimulation are the primary focus

·     Multiple sexual partners, sex workers, prostitutes, one-night stands

·     Excessive use of internet pornography, webcams, and cybersex

·     Excessive masturbation and unable to control oneself

·     Repetitive affairs and infidelity even though you love your partner

·     High-risk sexual behaviors jeopardize your health

·       Sexual cravings that cannot be controlled lasting for six months

·     Neglecting responsibilities in favor of sexual rendezvous

·     Challenges with emotional connection and intimacy with the partner

Love and sexual addiction recovery involves CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and examining childhood and adolescent trauma, maladaptive beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, establishing healthy adaptive coping skills for emotional self-regulation, and establishing awareness and mindfulness grounding. We can collaborate to create a treatment plan that will address the core issues and bring healing and recovery in creating the best version of yourself.

References

AASECT Position on sexual addiction. (n.d.).

https://www.aasect.org/position-sex-addiction

George, M., et al. (2018). Psychosocial intervention for sexual addiction.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5844164/

Hero, M. (2018). What is sexual addiction?

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-sexual-addiction/

Emamzadeh, A. (2019). What is love addiction? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/201902/what-is-love-addiction

Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017). Addicted to love: What is love addiction, and when should it be treated?. Philosophy, psychiatry, & psychology: PPP, 24(1), 77–92. https://doi.org/10.1353/ppp.2017.0011

Hall, J. (2020). Love addict behaviors, signs, and symptoms. Retrieved from https://www.loveaddictionhelp.com/14-signs-love-addict