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  • How to Tell Your Partner About Your Past Sexual Abuse

    Relationships always start on a high note. Your mutual attraction combined with your commonalities stirs up your feelings while finding out about your differences and exploring the world together makes your relationship fresh and exciting. When your relationship starts to become more intimate, you may begin to wonder when the right time is for you to open up to your partner about your past sexual abuse.

    Being a survivor of sexual assault is, unfortunately, not uncommon. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in three women and one in six men in the United States experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime. So when is the right time to open up to your partner about your past, and how do you tell them?

    Be Ready

    It’s important as a survivor that you are in control of when you share your story. Center yourself around your own needs and share only when you’re ready and not before. You may need to discuss it with a therapist, counselor, friend, or support group first.

    Know What You Need

    Know in advance what you’ll need to get through this discussion. You may need your partner not to ask questions or touch you while talking. Be honest and upfront, and ask for support when you need it.

    Prepare for a Response

    How people respond to your story will vary widely. Hearing sexual abuse disclosures affects both the person telling the story as well as the person listening. Your partner may be silent as they take the information and consider what to say. Give them time to process it. If it will make you more comfortable, you can ask them to give you some time before you discuss the matter again.

     

    Opening up and discussing difficult, sensitive topics with your partner is always challenging. But these hard times often create milestones in your relationship, ultimately bringing you closer than ever.

    Are you a sexual assault survivor and in need of guidance and counseling? A licensed therapist can help. Call my office today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.