Affairs & Infidelity Recovery
As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, a certification that requires rigorous training and adherence to professional standards, and a Couples Betrayal Recovery Specialist, a role that focuses on supporting couples through the healing and restoration of their relationships after the devastating experience of infidelity, I am uniquely qualified to guide you through this challenging journey. The discovery of an affair is a heartbreaking event that can shatter the foundation of trust in a relationship or marriage. It often leaves the betrayed partner feeling alone, blindsided, confused, and deeply hurt.
Despite the trauma of infidelity, recovery is not only possible but also a realistic outcome. Couples do not necessarily need to resort to separation or divorce. While overwhelming feelings of anger, hopelessness, and despair are common, remaining stuck in these emotions can lead to a cycle of bitterness and resentment. The healing journey is challenging, but it is a journey that can be successfully navigated with the right support and guidance, instilling hope in the couples.
Couples therapy provides an opportunity for healing, forgiveness, and growth. When both partners are willing to engage in the process, it offers hope for meaningful change. The partner who had the affair must sever contact with the affair partner to rebuild trust. As your therapist, I am here to guide you through this journey, providing the tools and support you need to navigate the challenges and work towards a meaningful, satisfying, and joyful relationship, emphasizing the crucial role of the therapist in the healing process.
Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman, renowned for their extensive research in betrayal and affair recovery, offer evidence-based models for couples. These models include [specific model names or descriptions]. Additionally, Esther Perel, an expert in affairs and infidelity, provides valuable insights on intimacy and sexuality. After conducting a couples’ assessment, I develop a tailored treatment plan and techniques to meet your goals. Emotionally Focused Therapy helps understand the dynamics of pursuer and withdrawer, process deep feelings, and provide stability in the relationship.
Exploring ambivalence helps individuals unsure about staying in the relationship process their emotions and weigh the benefits and risks. This process involves [specific steps or techniques used in exploring ambivalence]. Couples therapy benefits those committed to reconnecting, repairing, rebuilding trust, setting healthy boundaries, and strengthening their relationship.
What is Considered Infidelity?
Infidelity can vary widely in its definition. For some, cybersex and pornography may be considered infidelity, while others might only view physical sex outside the marriage as a betrayal. Emotional affairs may be seen as less harmful by some but can still pose a significant threat to the relationship. Understanding these different forms of infidelity can help you navigate the complexities of your situation.
What Causes Infidelity?
Research shows that many adults expect monogamy in romantic relationships and marriages. However, affairs can result from several factors, including:
- Ego Boost
- Lack of Emotional Intimacy
- Relationship Dissatisfaction
- Low Self-Confidence
- Sex Addiction
- Avoidance of Issues
- Depression
Types of Infidelity
Sexual Affair: Involves a physical, intimate relationship without the partner’s knowledge, often driven by desire and lacking emotional connection. These affairs may be short-lived but can cause deep betrayal.
Object Affair: Focuses on an outside interest, hobby, or work that diverts attention from the relationship, leading to neglect and emotional distance.
Cybersex Affair: Involves online interactions such as cyber flirting, pornography, or sexting, which can escalate into physical encounters and impact the relationship’s intimacy and trust.
Emotional Affair: This starts with emotional closeness to someone outside the relationship and often evolves into a significant threat as it involves sharing personal information and creating a secret connection.
Impact of Infidelity on Partners
Infidelity can have severe emotional, physical, and psychological effects, including:
- Shame
- Anger
- Distress
- Anxiety & Panic Attacks
- Sleep Disturbance
- Self-Blame
- Overeating/Undereating
- Over-Exercising
- Lower Work Performance
- High-Risk Behaviors
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
- Increased Alcohol and Substance Use
- Low Self-Confidence & Self-Worth
- Depression and Sadness
If you have experienced infidelity, it’s crucial to heal, process, and grieve the loss as a betrayed partner. Couples therapy can facilitate recovery and help rebuild trust in your relationship or marriage. I offer a compassionate, non-judgmental, and supportive environment to explore these feelings and guide you through the healing process, ensuring you feel safe and understood.
